Heavy in your arms
by weasleyO
Summary: Ryan/OC A girl and a boy. Every story starts the same way. Read and review! Paranormal State   June, 29th, 2012:  In light of recent events in Ryan's personal life concerning his health, this will be on hiatus.
1. Chapter 1 I was a Heavy heart to carry

(AN: I own nothing. Except for the Character Meg. This story has been bouncing around my head for awhile now. I decided to see if it worth letting others read...)

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Chapter 1

I pulled my car in to the drive way of a small town home.

I pressed my head to the steering wheel and let out a sigh. I had just drove about 14 hours straight to get here.

I got out of my car, my feet crunching in the snow as I made my way up the door. It looked slightly empty but it wouldn't hurt to try.

I rang the door bell. I heard the sound of the dog barking. It made my heart jump into my throat choking me up. My emotions were teetering on the edge and I knew I was insane for driving here with out warning.

"coming!" I heard his voice yell. He opened the door. I heard him inhale sharply.

"Meg?"

I nodded

"what's going on? What happened?" he said suddenly grabbing my arm and pulled me into the hug.

That was the final straw that broke me. I sobbed hard into him.

"here, drink some tea" Ryan said coming and sitting next to me on his couch. Xander sat at my feet.

"start at the beginning" he said

"well you knew I left to go live with him" I couldn't say his name

Ryan nodded

"things were great. I tried to keep you up to date but I knew you were busy"

"He was working. I was looking for a job and just enjoying my new life" I continued

"then a few months ago, he started to change. He grew distant and he was out a lot. I tried not to jump to conclusions or get paranoid. I really tried but he never answered calls or texts when he was out. Sometimes he wouldn't come home till the next day. Sometimes he would show up drunk…"

"he never beat you did he?"

"no. nothing like that. He was just disrespectful and even when he wasn't drunk, it always felt like I was always working so hard to please him."

"so anyways. I called him out on his behavior and he told me he needed time to think" I say starting to get choked up.

I felt Ryan rub my back.

"I didn't see him at home for a whole week. I tried not to call or text in case it made him leave me" I said crying.

"he comes home and tells me he can't do it anymore. He just doesn't feel like being in a relationship anymore" I sobbed.

I felt Ryan pull me into his arms.

"2 years Ryan. Almost 3 actually. He promised to marry me and so many other things. Then he just changes his mind" I cried

"I'm so sorry" he said he whispered rubbing my back.

"so I packed up as much stuff as I could fit in my car and drove. I had no reason to stay there" I said sighing

I felt him sigh.

"has he contacted you since?"

"no. I texted him saying I would get the rest of my stuff back"

"I am sorry to just barge into your life Ryan, I know how busy you are. I should have at least called first."

"Nonsense, you are one of my best friends. I would never just abandon you"

I smiled pulling out of his embrace.

He laughed and handed me a box of tissues.

"thanks" I said wiping my face

"are you hungry? Is there anything I can get you?" he said

"I am tired. I haven't slept yet"

"of course. You can go and sleep in my room"

"where is everyone else?"

"Sergey, Katrina and heather are out eating dinner. Not sure where Josh is. And Eilfie is probably home"

He followed me up the stairs to his room. It looked almost the same the last time I saw it. Some posters had changed some but it still was his room.

"I have some extra blankets in the hallway closet if you get to cold and some towels too incase you want to take a shower" Ryan said.

I unzipped my winter coat. I felt Ryan help me off with it.

"I am just going to be downstairs doing some homework if you need anything"

I nodded. I felt him wrap his arms around me. I hugged back

"Thank you" I said pressing my face into his chest.

"no problem, sleep well" he said pulling away. He shut the door behind him.

I felt exhausted I collapsed on his bed. I wrapped the blanket around me.

It smelled like him which was comforting. It made me feel like home. I fell asleep with in minuets.

I opened my eyes to sun streaming in through the close blinds. I had probably fallen asleep around 9pm. I sat up straining to hear anything else in the house.

I heard foot steps downstairs and the faint sound of talking.

I slid out of bed. I went over to Ryan's mirror. My dark brown hair was all over the place. My makeup was smudged and I felt dirty.

I decided I would take a shower before venturing down stairs.

I wrapped the towel around me as I got out of the shower. I realized all my clothes were down stairs in my car.

I threw on my jeans and wrapped the towel around my top and went back into Ryan's room. I picked a shirt out of his dresser and slipped it on. I hung my dirty clothes in the bathroom. I would offer to do laundry later. It was the least I could do after showing up on his doorstep unexpectedly.

I heard several voice downstairs, which meant that the other occupants of the home were here.

I saw them all seated around the dining room table. Katrina, and Sergey and Heather. Josh was on the couch hacking away at a computer.

Ryan was in the kitchen.

"Meg!" I heard Katrina say loudly.

She got up and came over to me hugging me tight.

"hey" I smiled

"Ryan told us you got in last night. How are you doing?"

"Better now that I slept." I laughed lightly.

I went and sat down next to Sergey.

"it's so weird having you back, you were gone so long" Heather said

I nodded my head trying not to cry. I had abandoned these wonderful people. They were like family to me and I abandoned them for a guy I thought truly loved me.

"stealing my clothes already huh?" Ryan laughed coming to sit down at the table next to me

"yeah sorry, all my stuff is in my car still"

"it's ok"

An awkward silence began.

I decided to break it.

"I feel like I should apologize" I said

"I know I kind of abandoned you all to go and live with him. I thought I was making the right choice, obviously I was wrong" I sighed

"honey from what it sounded like through the emails and such to us. You sounded happy. You don't need to apologize. I feel like giving him a piece of my mind though" Katrina said

I laughed

"has he tried to contact you at all. I mean, you deserve some other explanation other then him not wanting a relationship anymore" Heather said

I nodded

"I honestly think he might have been cheating. He was gone a lot and would ignore my calls. He also stopped sleeping at the house a lot" I said taking in a shaking breath

"I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly, you are better off with out him. Some one that treats you that way obviously has issues" Sergey said piping in.

"we're all here for you Meg. You'll make it through this" Ryan said taking my hand in his and squeezing it.

"part of me still loves him. It makes me feel sick and twisted for loving him"

"you're not. It will take time. You'll feel angry and confused. You'll feel like disappearing" Katrina said

"we've all been through it at one point in time. I feel things like this ultimately help us in the long run" Heather added

"I'm sorry for not calling in advance. I feel bad"

They laughed.

"we haven't been doing much. Taking a break from the show and getting ready for winter break" Katrina said

"Yeah and preparing for finals" Ryan added.

We abandoned the topic of my break up and I got caught up on their lives.

They were all busy with their lives. School, working with PRS, organizing events. Ryan had even put out a book.

I suddenly felt very lost. I was 25, I dropped out of college to go and live with "him". I still didn't want to think his name.

What was I suppose to do now?

Katrina and Heather left to go and do some studying. Sergey and Josh were talking tech stuff.

Ryan was sitting at the dining room table reading.

I got up from the table.

"I think I am going to go and take a drive" I said

"want some company?"

"nah, you're busy"

"not really. I can tag along. We can go and get some lunch" he smiled

I looked at my watch. It was already 1pm.

"Alright"

We got to a small diner the gang used to frequent back in the early days.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Now that I have all this free time?" I asked sipping my coke

He laughed and nodded

"try and go back to school. Hopefully pick up where I left off. I just want my old life back now."

"well you are welcome to stay as long as you like. We have an extra bedroom. Heather actually lives in her own place"

"plus since we are gone so often it will be nice to have someone to look after Xander." He smiled

"now I am just your dog watcher huh?"

He laughed. I had missed this.

"I've missed you Ryan. I feel bad for leaving how I did. I remember you had warned me not to leave. That it felt like I was making a mistake"

"yeah. I still think it was. But it was your life, I was just being the jealous best friend. It was the first guy to be in your life who wasn't me. He was suddenly taking you away from me and I got jealous."

"I just hope I haven't completely ruined things" I said

"You haven't. I got over it though. You're still my best friend." he smiled

I took his hand from across the table

"I still hurt you though. I am so sorry that I did."

"it's ok really." he said. I had a feeling this wasn't resolved just yet though.

We chatted and finished our lunch.

"where to next?" Ryan asked as we got into my car.

"not sure. Do you have anything you need to do?"

"I should get some groceries and dog food" He said buckling in.

"To the market we go"

He laughed as I sped away from the curb.

I was in leaning against the cart as Ryan picked out veggies. He was currently bagging some tomatoes when a female voice called his name.

I turned around to see a small blonde girl in about her early 20's come walking over to us. Her basket hung on her arm.

"Tanya. Hey" Ryan smiled

"I haven't talked to you since our date"

"Yeah I have been busy with things" he smiled politely

I saw the girls eyes dart over to me. Her eyes turned hard looking at me.

"Tanya this is Meg my best friend" he said

Her eyes didn't soften. "Nice to meet you" she said curtly

"like wise" I said

"so Ryan just give me a call when you aren't busy" she said walking away

"I'll do that. See you Tanya" he said

I choked back a laugh

"a groupie?" I grinned

He rolled his eyes

"she's a nice girl. It was just one date."

"hope she knows that. She is probably planning your wedding as we speak"

"I hope not"

"any other relationship developments since I have been gone?"

"beside me coming out Bi?" he said

"I already knew that though. You never had to say anything. I always knew"

"Oh really? How oh physic one?"

"you used to watch American Psycho almost every day! Come on!" I laughed

"Christian Bale is my soul mate ok?" He smiled

I leaned into him. I enjoyed our silly banter, it took my mind off of things.

"want to know how I know you're gay?" I giggled

He rolled his eyes

"because I listen to Cold play" he finished dully

I stuck my tongue out at him

"you are so childish. I still like boobies" he said seriously

I bit my lip to try to keep from laughing.

"oh god Ryan" I said laughing loudly not being able to hold it in.

He laughed too, getting strange looks from other shoppers.

We got back to the house and stowed the groceries away.

I appreciated the familiarity of it all.

"why don't we go bring some of yours things in from the car" Ryan said

"don't you have school or something?" I laughed

"day off. Tomorrow I have a final. I will study after I am done helping with the boxes"

"Good boy" I said patting his head.

Once everything was in the room I began sorting through and organizing things while Ryan sat in his room working hard. I walked past his door occasionally. He was focused on a book in front of him. His hand was rested on his face. He had his reading glasses on. He had on some black sweat pants and a blue t-shirt that looked very soft and inviting.

I wasn't about tell him any of this. It would just inflate his ego.

He looked up when he noticed I was standing in the doorway.

"I was wondering. I am doing laundry, do you have anything you want clean?"

He pointed to his hamper and grinned.

"good to know. My load is in there right now. Yours will be next. I was going to make dinner also. What would you like?"

"well aren't you the domestic little house wife" he laughed

I suddenly felt a weight in my stomach. Jason had once said that I was his little house wife.

Ryan must have noticed the change in my mood.

"something wrong?"

I blinked and put on a smile

"it's fine. Just had a memory. It's gone now" I said sighing

"about Jason?"

I nodded. I was allowing my self to think his name and even say it. I figured it would help me heal quicker.

"he used to call me his little house wife, it's a stupid thing to remember but now I just feel a heavy weight in my stomach"

"I'm sorry"

"don't be. It's fine" I sighed

"I'll eat whatever you make" he smiled

I laughed.

"Of course you will. I honestly don't know where you put all that food" I said leaving the room.

I heard him chuckle quietly.

I finished the laundry, including his laundry.

I decided just to make pasta. It was quick.

I heard Ryan coming downstairs.

"anyone else joining us?"

"Doubtful. Everyone is off studying"

"well there will be some left over's then" I said closing the oven.

We ate in silence. He was reading a text book of his. I got that lost feeling again. It popped up sometimes when I would be watching everyone else.

It was so overwhelming. I got up and started about cleaning the kitchen.

When I was done. I started making my way upstairs when Ryan turned around

"where you going?"

"you're studying so I am just going up to do some reading and lay down"

"you sure?" he said "we could sit on the couch and I could read you my text book" he smiled

I laughed

"it's ok. I just need some alone time"

He nodded and I went upstairs to my room closing the door behind me.

I let out a shaky breath. Tears I had been holding in poured down my face.

I looked around the room. I hadn't bothered to unpack much because I figured I shouldn't become a burden on Ryan. That I should leave as soon as possible. As soon as I could find a job so I could fend for my self. I only had a little bit of money saved up, but not enough so that I could rent my own place. I laid on my bed and buried my face into the pillow. I let out sobs that shook my entire frame. My heart ached and I felt like I just wanted to die. That maybe death would make the pain cease. I felt so lost and hopeless. Like life had no more point anymore. Everything I worked towards for almost 3 years was gone. Everything. What was I suppose to do now?

Just carry on like I was ok? I felt my self fall into a restless sleep.

"_I'm sorry really, I just can't be in a relationship anymore"_

"_why?"_

"_I can't, I'm sorry, truly"_

"_You tell me why you bastard" I screamed as he got in his car._

"_I won't be back for a couple of days so you will be alone to pack up your stuff. Just leave the key under the mat when you are done" he said backing out._

"_Fuck you. Come back here and talk to me about this!" I yelled._

_He drove away._

_I screamed hard until my lungs hurt. I slammed the door going inside. I looked around our living room. Pictures of us littering the book shelf. I grabbed one and threw it hard at the wall. I sobbed falling to the floor._

_Why was he doing this to me? _

I heard my name being said. It sounded faraway. I opened my eyes to see Ryan sitting behind me on the bed.

"you were screaming and crying" he said. He look scared and worried.

I sobbed. Ryan pulled me into his arms, rocking me slightly.

"I feel so lost Ryan. I feel like I just want to die. Like there is no point in life anymore. Everything I worked for is gone" I said hiccupping. "I feel worthless. Like I didn't matter enough to him. Like it was so easy for him to toss me aside" I said crying against his shoulder.

"you aren't worthless" he said against my head. "these feelings with pass. I promise. It will take a lot of time to heal but all those feelings will fade"

"He is just a stupid guy who couldn't see what he was just throwing away. It's his loss. Not yours. Yes you spent so much time with him. You will feel lost"

I listened to his voice. It was soothing and comforting.

"you will find yourself again. He doesn't define who you are. You do" he said rubbing my back.

"I will be with you every step of the way. I will help you find your way back again" he said pressing a kiss to my the top of my head.

I breathed in a shaky breath. I untangled my self from his embrace.

He laughed. Taking the sleeve of his shirt and wiping my face.

"better?"

"for now" I sighed.

"want me to stay?"

I nodded laying back down. I felt him lay down behind me. He draped the blanket over him and slipped his arm to rest around the front of me.

"want to tell me about the dream?" he whispered

"It was just replaying the day he told me he didn't want a relationship anymore. I had screamed and cried. I even took a picture frame and smashed it against the wall. I actually destroyed a lot of stuff. I am surprised he hasn't called"

"well it's only been a couple of days"

I nodded feeling drowsy.

"go to sleep" he whispered.

I nodded again and fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

I heard the sound of music and a shower. My eyes snapped open.

I felt a heavy weight pressing into me. I looked over and Ryan was sleeping deeply behind me. His arm draped over my waist.

I smiled. We used to fall asleep in each others beds all the time. Even when I first started dating Jason. I'd end up in Ryan's bed in the middle of the night.

He never protested. When Jason found out he flipped his lid. Accusing me of cheating. I laughed hard at the accusation. What Ryan and I had was strictly friendship. We became best friends his freshman year of college. He was a kind of geeky kid back then. He grew into him self though. I was attending the college and taking classes while finishing up High school early. So when I finally started going to college full time. We were both sophomores. Even though he was 2 years older then me.

I heard him groan. He yawned and pulled me into him.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I looked at the clock. It was 10am. He had a test at noon.

"Ryan" I said poking him in the stomach.

He whined

"more sleepy" he said, his voice rough with sleep.

I laughed

"it's 10am. You need to get up"

"but it's so warm and you are nice and soft" he smiled burying his face into my shoulder.

I heard the knock on my bedroom door.

"meg?" it was Katrina. She opened the door lightly

"have you seen-…never mind" she laughed

"I was wondering where Ryan had got to" she smiled

"morning Katrina" he said

"morning Ry. I was making breakfast. Did you guys want any?"

"yeah. We'll be right down" I said.

She closed the door. She was blushing.

"she thinks she caught us sleeping together" I laughed

"but we are" he said suggestively

I laughed

I got up and grabbed a sweatshirt.

"no more sleepy. Time to wakey" I said grabbing his arm trying to pull him up.

He laughed. "good luck with that"

I sighed.

"Fine I'll be downstairs. Eating all your bacon."

He was up in 2 seconds flat. racing me down the stairs.

Sergey was already half way done eating.

"morning" he mumbled.

"morning Serg" Ryan said sitting down.

I saw Katrina blush as I went into the kitchen to get orange juice

"Katrina. Ryan and I weren't sleeping together. Well we slept in the same bed together. We didn't sleep together." I laughed

"you didn't catch us doing anything, I swear" I added

"oh. I was worried. I thought maybe it was some big secret"

"nope. Ryan and I sleep in the same bed often. Well we used to" I said

We finished breakfast and I watched everyone get ready and leave for class.

"come down to the campus and eat lunch with me" Ryan said

"is that a demand?" I laughed

He stuck out his tongue.

"yes. You need to get out of the house. Speaking of which. Since it is Friday. We are going out tonight. The whole gang" he smiled

I rolled my eyes

"alright. I will be on campus in an hour" I said as he got in his car.

I closed the door.

I quickly got ready for the day and headed down to the school a little early.

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Review! I try my best to edit and do double checks as much as possible. I also try not to be terribly cliche in any story I write. I am not sure where this story is head. I have 3 chapters finished, if you like it so far let me know if you want me to continue posting!


	2. Chapter 2  Aphrodisiac

(AN: I decided to upload the second chapter even though I haven't gotten any reviews. This story is still a little rough in my opinion. I have up to chapter 4 written at this point and I am going back through and editing as much as I can to make it flow better before I post. Enjoy!)

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Chapter 2

The day sped by quick. I was soon up in my room getting ready for a night out. Katrina was helping me dig through boxes to find something nice.

I really didn't feel like dressing up though. I didn't have anyone to impress nor did I want to meet anyone.

"This is cute" she smiled holding up a black cotton dress. It was sleeveless so I wore a short black jacket over it. I finished getting ready, putting on a little mascara.

I went downstairs to put on my brown faux leather boots.

I caught a whiff of cologne behind me. I knew it was Ryan's.

"Planning on meeting a hot lady tonight? Or a hot man" I asked smiling

"Maybe" he laughed following me out the door.

We got to a local club. I quickly went to the bar and ordered my self a rum and coke. The rest of the group followed getting their own drinks and heading out to the floor. I took a seat near the bar. Watching all the people and the bright lights pulsing against the bodies on the floor. As they moved to the rhythm.

I downed the rum and coke. I grabbed a waitress asking for a Tonic and tequila and another rum and coke.

By my fourth rum and coke. I was feeling buzzed, light and giggly.

I saw Ryan dancing on with a girl. A corona in one hand and the other hand her waist.

I smiled. I was glad to be out of the house. I felt someone sit next to me.

It was Heather, "I have been groped various times." she laughed

"Why aren't you dancing?" she said nudging me.

"Not much for dancing." I said over the music.

I ordered a shot of tequila.

"Man. You can hold your stuff as well as Ryan" Heather laughed

"I learn from the best" I said winking.

The night started to pass in a blur after a few more shots.

I was leaning against the bar. Katrina was keeping me company in my drunken stupor.

I was swaying on my feet. I felt a hand steady me.

I heard Ryan's voice in my ear

"How you doing?" He said

"Amazing!" I smiled

I heard him laugh. He smelled heavily of corona.

"You are wasted" he said

"nah. I'm good"

He laughed. He weaved his arm behind my waist pulling me into him.

"Let's dance" he said. Leading me out onto the floor.

I was pressed into him. As we moved to the music. The smell of him was making me heady and us moving against each other was suddenly turning me on. Some sane part of my mind was saying _'he's your best friend. You can't be turned on by him'_

He was grinding into me. From the feel of things. He was equally turned on.

His hands were gripping my hips as we moved to the beat. I had my hands on his back. Before I knew it. I felt his lips on mine.

His mouth strayed up to my ear whispering the words of the song into my ear

'_Her body's pressed up on me. I think she's ready to blow'_

His mouth was back on mine, he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the alley door.

Katrina's POV

I watched as I saw Ryan and Meg dancing and grinding on each other. I saw Ryan make his move. 'So he finally did it' I thought smiling

Heather came up behind me

"Oh boy. They aren't gonna live this down" Heather said.

"Ryan has the hots for her" I giggled

"Really?" heather said

"He told me before she came back. He said he's been in love with her for a year or more" I said trying to remember.

"Weird. Ryan never told me"

"I forced it out of him. When I heard him…..pleasuring himself one night. I cornered him the next day and he told me. He said that it would go away. That since she was never coming back. He could forget and move on. This was about a couple weeks before she showed up" I said

"Wow. Well obviously she has no clue. She is drunk and won't remember this. Is Ryan drunk at all?"

"A little. Enough where he won't remember what he has done…hopefully" I said

Normal POV-

I felt my stomach turn as I opened my eyes. The room was spinning.

I felt someone next to me.

I blinked and looked over. Ryan was asleep, his arm slung over me.

We were in his room. My head pounded. I closed my eyes and sighed.

I lifted the blanket off of me. I noticed that my dress was bunched up. My underwear was till intact. I looked over at Ryan who was shirtless and in jeans that were partially undone.

"Oh god" I groaned. I prayed that we didn't sleep together.

The night came flooding back. I remembered dancing and grinding with him. I remembered being turned on by him. I remember feeling that he was too. I remembered us kissing. We had stumbled blindly out to the back alley. He had me pressed into the wall. We were heavily making out until Katrina and heather pulled us apart. We made it home. Katrina and heather took Ryan and me to our separate rooms. That didn't stop me. Once they left I snuck into Ryan's room. He was lying on the bed pants undone. We started making out again and we got as far as him trying to take my dress off before I passed out.

"Ryan wake up" I groaned

He mumbled

"What time is it?" he said groggily

"I don't know"

"What the hell happened last night?" I said  
"nothing"

"Ryan…we were making out in some alley. We were making out on this bed before I passed out."

"I don't think we did anything more. I think I would remember" he sighed

He got up quickly.

"I need a shower" he said leaving.

I felt like crying. What the hell was wrong with me? I had made out with my best friend. He now was probably mad at me. I had probably just ruined a 7 year friendship.

I quickly got up and went to my room. I ignored the pain in my head. I threw on some jeans under my dress. Grabbed my purse, my coat and went outside.

It was blinding out making my head scream. I quickly got in my car and drove off. I needed time to think.

Katrina's Pov-

I watched as Meg left the house in a blur.

Shit.

I heard Ryan come out of the bathroom and come downstairs.

He was dressed in some sweats and t-shirt.

"Where is meg?"

"She left"

"Where?" he said frantically

"No clue"

"Katrina. What happened last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember kissing…a lot of it. Then she was in my room this morning when I woke up" he sighed sitting down

"You guys didn't….?"

"I don't think we did. I would remember that. I know I would."

"Did she look upset?" he asked

"Yeah"

"Shit. She probably hates me or thinks I took advantage of her. I am such an idiot"

I laughed

"It's not funny."

"You should have seen yourself with her last night. It was actually kind of cute" I said

"I didn't confess anything did me?"

"Not that I know of"

He groaned putting his head in his hands.

"Why am I such a fuck up?"

I patted his back.

Normal pov-

"Why am I such a fuck up?" I groaned against my steering wheel. I went and parked my car in Local Park.

I saw my breath against the chill outside. My tears were drenching the knees of my jeans.

I should not be allowed to be near men.

"Maybe I should join a nunnery" I said out loud.

"You know talking to your self does make you look insane"

I jolted upwards. Eilfie was outside my window.

I opened the passenger door and she got in.

"I was sent to come find you"

I sighed

"Ryan was worried. He thinks he ruined things"

"He didn't. I am afaid that I ruined things" I said turning on the car.

"You two are the most stubborn people" she said

"What do you mean?" I said driving away from the park.

"You two are in love with each other but don't see it"

I laughed

"No. no way"

"Yes. You are the one who is in deep denial"

"Ok. I admit at one time. Before I had met Jason. I felt something for Ryan. Yes but I decided it was best to smother it. To not ruin what we had"

"Do you feel something now?" she asked

I stayed silent for a couple of blocks.

"If you do. You need to think on it and decide what to do"

I had pulled into the driveway.

"You aren't alone in anything Meg" Eilfie said.

I felt my self start to cry. She leaned over the seat and hugged me.

"Thank you Eilfie" I said.

She got out of the car. I stayed in the car.

I sighed and went inside after awhile. I saw Katrina and Ryan at the dining room table talking.

I took off my coat and boots

"Meg!" Ryan said coming over and hugging me.

I hugged him lightly and pulled away.

"I am fine. I just needed to think alone for awhile"

"And about last night. Look, I was drunk. You were drunk. People do dumb things when they drink. Let's not worry about it" I said

He nodded.

"I was just afraid you were mad at me"

"No I'm not mad"

"Sorry to break up this love fest. Serg is going be home soon so we can have a huge study session" Katrina said

I laughed

" And I am gonna do some job hunting" I said going upstairs.

"I'll be in my room. If anyone needs me" I added closing the door.

I sighed leaning against it.

The new week passed by the same. Except minus the drinking. They also had a case out of town on the weekend. So I would be left on my own. Ryan had begged me to tag along. That they could always use an extra set of hands.

I decided against it. I didn't want to interfere with his job.

So they left Friday morning. I went about to organzing my room. Doing laundry. Playing video games, just being bored and waiting for Sunday night to come and for them to be home.

I sat on the couch reading Ryan's book. Learning about the cases he did were more interesting to me since I already knew about his life.

I felt the phone vibrate next to me.

I looked down. It was Jason. I felt my stomach drop.

I sighed, picking up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I was wondering when you are coming to get your shit."

"Not sure. I don't have a lot of money right now. So maybe once I get a job"

"Well I need it out now. Can I just ship it to you?"

I knew most of my stuff was already in boxes.

"Fine"

"You owe me too for breaking some of my stuff."

"Well consider it pay back for breaking my heart"

I heard the front door open. Ryan, Sergey and Katrina filed in.

Jason laughed in my ear

"Well until you pay for my stuff. I am holding your stuff."

"You can't do that!" I said

"Watch me" he said hanging up

"Utter fucking bastard" I seethed calling him back

"Whoa." Ryan said wide eyed

"Jason" I said clarifying.

Ryan nodded sitting down next to me.

Jason picked up

"If you pay for what you broke you can have your shit"

"I don't think you realize. You fucked me up. You ruined my life. You can go to hell. Give me my shit so I can be rid of you"

Ryan grabbed the phone

"Listen you scum bag. Either you do what she says or things will get ugly"

I watched as Ryan listened.

"He hung up on me"

"Shit" I sighed

"Looks like I am going to have to drive out to get my things"

"Do you want someone to come with you?" Ryan asked

"I know you guys have school. I can't ask that of you"

"Winter break starts on Tuesday. Can you wait till then?" Ryan asked

"Yeah"

"Do you want me to come with?"

I nodded. Not being able to hold in my tears anymore.

He held me to him for awhile. I hate crying so much. I just wanted to move on with my life now.

Tuesday came around and Ryan and I hit the road to make the 14 hour drive.

Ryan and I drove all day and all night. We got into the town early morning. Ryan had insisted we bring the van so that we could fit more.

He was asleep in the back now. We had taken turns sleeping. I pulled into the driveway.

I felt shaky and sick.

Jason's car was parked in front.

I heard Ryan stir.

"We're here?" Ryan asked groggily

"Yeah, I am just preparing my self" I sighed

He came and sat in the front seat.

"Don't worry. I am here"

"Thank you. It helps. I don't know what I would have done if I had to do this alone"

He leaned over to me hugging me briefly.

I went up to the door first. I knocked lightly. I didn't hear anything so I rang the doorbell. Ryan was standing next to the van waiting.

I heard cursing coming from the other side of the door.

"What do you want?" Jason said opening the door.

Everything came at me like a punch in the stomach. The love and the hate and the loathing I was feeling hit me hard. I tried not to gasp from the pain.

"Oh it's you"

"I am here for my stuff"

"Pay me for the broken stuff"

"Go fuck your self. You can't hold my stuff ransom. All I broke was some picture frames, a glass coffee table and some dishes, which was stuff I paid half for anyways"

"Fine come in. take your shit and leave."

"You are the one that ended it asshole." I said walking back to the van.

"You okay?" Ryan asked

I nodded

"I just want to get this done" I sighed trying not to cry.

Jason had left the front door open.

All of my boxes were still in the bedroom.

"I just have a few more things to pack up, that I missed the first time" I said

Ryan nodded and picked up a box and carried it out to the van.

I went into the living room and began picking up some of my knick knacks.

"So are you fucking him?" Jason asked

I didn't respond to him,

"You are aren't you? You'll take who ever just so you can get some action"

I steadied my self, ignoring him. It was clear he had been drinking a little. Ryan came in and went to grab another box.

I shut the box I was holding setting it down.

"You're in love with him" he laughed "you know why I grew distant because I could see it in your eyes you weren't giving me 100% of your heart. You were only giving me half and it's because you were still in love with him." he said smirking.

"You know what. Don't even try and blame this on me. You are a sorry excuse for a human being. I put everything I had into the relationship. EVERYTHING, I moved away from the only family I have to be with you. I left them to make it work. I did everything to make it work with you. You obviously have some deeps issues you need to work on if you go and blame something you ended on me" I said

He stood there. Not saying anything.

"And by the way, I know you were probably cheating on me. So don't bother denying it"

Ryan came back in.

"That was the last box in the room."

"Thank you" I turned smiling at him.

Jason glared at Ryan

"What are you looking at asshole" Jason said

Ryan laughed rolling his eyes picking up the box I had set down.

I went about putting more stuff in a box.

"You like sleeping with her? She's damaged goods and mentally unstable. Worthless, I stayed with her because I was alone and liked having someone to cook for me and fuck when I got home. It was nice but then she went insane. She's worthless" Jason laughed.

I was in the other room and only heard Jason laughing.

Then I heard Ryan.

"You know what. She is worth more then your pathetic life. You are the fuck up who decided she wasn't good enough for you and that is your loss. Consider your self blessed that she graced your existence for a short time. I have been blessed enough to have her in my life for much longer and I can see how amazing she truly is. Now, enjoy the rest of your life"

I felt the tears streaming down my face at Ryan's words. I was glad to have someone like him in my life. Someone who actually cares about other people.

I finished filling up the box and went out side to the van.

We got 3 or 4 more boxes full of my stuff and then we were done.

"Goodbye Jason. I hope you get some help for your drinking. If you see anything I missed just email me. I will do the same if I accidentally ended up with something of yours"

He nodded shutting the door.

I let out a big sigh and broke down into tears. I felt weak for crying so much.

"Come here" Ryan whispered putting up the arm rest and pulling me into him.

"It's over now. It's done and you can move on. You can start a new life" he said whispering into my hair as I sobbed into his chest.

I felt a huge relief wash over me. He was right. I had a huge open book ahead of me.

I pulled away and looked up at him. He smiled looking down at me

"Better?"

I nodded. I felt the sudden urge to kiss him but suppressed it. Things were much too complicated right now to go and mess it up.

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I love reviews! :]


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I decided to upload this shorter chapter. anyone enjoying this at all? :/

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Chapter 3-

We made it back by Friday afternoon. Having spent Tuesday on the road to drive there, Wednesday morning and after noon spent packing and sleeping, we hit the road Wednesday night. Spent Thursday driving back, doing a little site seeing and pushing the van to a gas station, because one of us forgot to fill the tank. We gave each other the silent treatment for about an hour before he broke down and apologized. We stopped Thursday night at a rest stop as we were about 7 hours from home.

I flopped down on my bed. Ryan was in the shower and he was going to take a couple of hours to nap before he had to leave town again for a case.

I felt horrible. I thought we would have been back by Thursday.

Ryan knocked on my door

"Shower's free"

"Thanks" I said sitting up.

"You can store any of your extra boxes in the closet downstairs or in the basement"

"Yeah I am going to go and get my stuff now."

I felt horribly disgusting. After bringing all my stuff in I went and took a nice hot shower and then to sleep for what felt like the whole weekend.

The next couple months were spent finding work. Hanging out with Ryan and the gang. Them studying and doing homework. Thankfully spring rolled around. I was grateful to not have to bundle up anymore.

I had found work part time a café that was also a bookstore.

Things were going great and I felt like I was moving on. I had even applied for classes for the upcoming fall semester. Things were good, except the fact that I was falling for my best friend all over again. I tried to suppress the feelings but they just grew stronger every time I was near him. Every time he would come in my room to lie on my bed and study while I was trying to sleep. I would wake up with him next to me. My body curled into his. His face pressed into my head.

I didn't know how long I could last before I snapped.

I shut the door to the café. I was exhausted from being on my feet all day serving coffee and stocking books.

I couldn't wait to get home and eat some dinner and just relax.

Ryan and everyone were busy studying for finals before their summer kicked off and then their influx of cases would increase.

I shut the front door. The entire place was dark. I knew they must be out studying. I went into the kitchen turning on the light. I heard the clicking of Xander's claws on the floor. He came at sat at my feet.

I started making my self dinner. I hit start on the microwave when I felt someone behind me. I turned around to see Jason staring at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I yelled

He reached for me. I lost my balance tripping over Xander. I heard my head hit the hard wood floor with a dull crack and I passed out.

"Meg?"

I could hear faint whispers around me but I couldn't feel my body.

'Great' I thought 'that bastard Jason killed me'

"Meg? Can you hear me?"

"Don't move her"

"She probably just has a concussion Serg"

"We should just take her to the hospital"

"If she doesn't wake up soon, I'll take her"

I tasted iron in my mouth. I groaned as feeling came back.

My head hurt and my back ached.

I opened my eyes to see Ryan hovering over me. While Serg, Katrina and Josh, were standing behind him.

"What happened?" Ryan asked seeing me come to.

I held up a finger to give me a second.

I sat up my back protesting.

"I tripped over Xander. I was startled and I fell over him"

"What startled you?"

"I was making dinner. I thought I felt someone behind me. So I turned around I saw Jason. I asked him what he was doing here and he reached for me. I backed up tripping over Xander and then I passed out"

I still tasted blood. I must have bit my tongue when I passed out.

"The door was shut when we got back. Are you sure you saw him?"

"Definitely"

I suddenly felt woozy.

Ryan noticed and caught me before I fell back onto the floor.

"I'm taking her to the hospital."

"Ryan you don't think he-"

"I don't know Katrina. I don't know. We need to get her to the hospital"

I drifted in an out of consciousness as I was examined.

I could feel Ryan's tight grip on my hand.

"I don't see any signs that she was raped or any signs of attack"

I forced my self to be alert

"Raped?" I mumbled.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine. She has a very minor concussion. She'll be a little disorientated, make sure she takes it easy"

"Thank you doctor" Ryan said

I woke up the next morning. My head was still pounding but I didn't feel like I was woozy anymore.

I was in Ryan's room. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

It was Ryan.

"Hey, you're up" he smiled. He sat down on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" he said. His hand moving, to go behind my head

I hissed

"Sorry. I brought you an icepack in case your head was hurting" he said handing it me.

I put it on the back of my head. The ice relieved some pain.

"You aren't suppose to be doing much, but if you want you can come downstairs and watch TV while I study" he said

I nodded. Before I knew it, He was scooping me up blanket and all

"I can walk"

"I am not going to risk you falling down the stairs"

I rolled my eyes.

He set me on the couch and sat down next to me. He brought my legs into his lap and began to read a book.

I suddenly felt like we were a couple. I pushed the feeling away.

He stopped reading and sighed. "Do you think Jason broke in?"

"I don't know. Maybe I was just hallucinating."

"But you said you felt something behind you, so you turned around"

"Yeah"

He looked puzzled.

"Maybe you should give him a call. Ask him if he was here"

I nodded. He handed me his phone and I dialed Jason's phone number by heart. It went to voice mail and the voice mail in-box was full.

"Huh. It went straight to voice mail"

I called his sister.

"Hey Leah, I can't get a hold of Jason…"

"No one can. He went missing. We aren't sure where he went but he left everything behind."

"Oh god Do you think someone hurt him?"

"We don't know. The police are out searching."

"Ok well if you hear anything call me."

"I will bye"

I hung up.

"Jason went missing. Probably with in the last few days, Police are searching for him"

"Well then maybe he was here."

"Or maybe I was just imagining things" I sighed

Ryan took a breath.

"Well let's not leave you home alone anymore. Until we know what is going on"

"Really?"

"Yes really. If he was here it's obviously for a reason. You could have been seriously hurt"

I pressed the ice to my head again.

"I'll be good" I said

He laughed lightly rubbing my leg. I broke out in goose bumps.

It was getting harder and harder to deny my feelings for him.

-Katrina's POV-

* 3 hours earlier*

I saw Ryan sitting on the steps a book in his hands

I smiled

"Is she asleep?" I asked shutting the front door.

"Yeah, I am sticking close by in case she needs me"

"Ryan. You should just tell her"

"I can't. She just got out of a relationship. She isn't going to want to get back into one. No matter how much she trusts me"

"And why I am I talking about this. She doesn't feel anything but friendship for me" he added

"How do you know?" I asked sitting next to him.

"Have you asked her?"

"No of course not" he said closing his book

"Well then you don't know. I think you both need to stop being so damn stubborn and get together"

He laughed

"And then everything will fall into place right?"

"Exactly" I smiled patting his head and going upstairs.

-Normal POV-

I went back to bed after sitting down stairs on the couch. Ryan following closely behind, It was sweet he was so protective but also annoying.

I had lain down in bed trying to get comfortable. I turned on my side facing the windows. my eyes adjusting to the dark. I nearly screamed when I saw it.

I was paralyzed in fear for a second. Jason was standing facing the windows.

"RYAN!" I screamed scrambling out of bed. Jason turned around and started moving quickly towards me. I was fumbling with the lamp. my fingers fumbling for the little switch.

The door opened just as I turned the light on.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Ryan asked frantically

I was pressed into the wall next to the nightstand. Wide eyed and shaken.

Jason wasn't in the room. It was just me.

"I saw him again. I saw him. I am losing my mind" I said shaking my head.

I crawled back onto the bed pulling my blanket up around me.

"Were you asleep?"

"No. I was getting comfortable. I saw him standing at the windows and when I screamed for you he started coming towards me"

I didn't even want to say what I was thinking. That Jason might be dead and was now haunting me but I did anyways.

"I think Jason is dead and is now some how attached to me"

Ryan nodded.

"I'll stay with you tonight. I'll do my own personal investigation tomorrow night. You need to rest"

I nodded

"Let me get my book. I still need to study"

I sat on the bed trying to settle in. I was still on edge. I felt invaded. Vulnerable.

Ryan came back in his pajamas. Glasses perch on top of his head and book in hand.

He grinned seeing me. I couldn't help but smile, his presence always comforted me.

He slid in beside me and went back to studying.

"You didn't feel anything in the room?" I asked quietly

"I am not as highly in tuned to it as much as say Katrina. If she was home she might have felt something. We'll see what happens tomorrow night. I'll have Katrina help out."

"Do you think I am crazy?"

"No of course not" I felt his hand on my leg through the blanket.

"I am leaning towards hypnagogic hallucinations although it doesn't explain why you saw him when you were fully awake the first time"

"Were you feeling tired? Like you might fall asleep on your feet?"

"No I came home from work I was tired but normal tired from work." I said

He sighed

"It's fine. You study. I'll sleep" I said

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek

"Night" He said

"Night" I said

I woke up briefly in the night. Ryan's mouth close to my ear, making his snore louder than normal. I shivered looking to the window again. I snapped my eyes shut. I forced my self back into a deep sleep.

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Once again...Reviews make me happy!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Yes another chapter. Hope someone is enjoying this. I enjoy writing it.

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Chapter 4

I felt warm and well rested. I kept my eyes closed not wanting to break the feeling. I could hear Ryan's light snore in my ear. My hand strayed down to where his arm was draped over my waist. I squeezed his arm.

"Ryan. Wake up" I said

He continued to snore.

I turned over to face him.

"Ryan, Wake up" I said louder. He stirred slightly. He sighed and stretched.

"I'm up" he said not opening his eyes.

I laughed. I saw him smile and open his eyes, his eyes darkening to a chocolate brown color.

"Morning" he said. His deep voice sending a delightful shiver through my body. He noticed and pulled me into him and wrapped the blanket around us.

"Is that warmer?" he said. I nodded wrapping my arms around him.

"We should really be getting up"

"I have work in 2 hours" I added

"Yeah. We should." he nodded, except neither of us made a move to get up.

I was enjoying being close to his body even if it didn't mean anything to him. I could pretend he at least wanted me, for a little while.

After dozing for awhile. I pulled away, regretfully.

"I need to get ready for work"

"Okay" he smiled still staying in the bed while I began to rummage for some work clothes. I went and showered. I came back to my room, just in a towel.

I expected Ryan to be gone but he had fallen back asleep. I clutched the towel closer to me as I grabbed my clothes from the foot of the bed. I went to my closet hiding behind the door as I quickly changed.

I threw my towels in my hamper and dove on to the bed, bouncing his sleeping form.

"I'm awake" he said

"And you have quite the lovely backside" he smirked

"Perv, I thought you were asleep"

"I am only kidding. I saw nothing. Just you in a towel, I closed my eyes, I am a gentlemen you know"

"I am leaving for work. Get up"

"I will. Have a good day."

I leaned down to kiss his cheek. He moved and my lips grazed his.

I inhaled sharply. His hand went to my neck and pulled me in kissing me softly. My mind was spinning. Why was he doing this?

I melted into his touch. His lips were soft and warm against mine. I wanted to pull away just to know why he was suddenly doing this.

I couldn't make my self do it though. His hand strayed to my face. My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. He started to deepen the kiss when my phone rang.

I pulled away breathless.

"Hello?" I answered.

It was my work asking me if I was coming in.

"Yes. I am on my way right now" I said hanging up

"I have to go. I get done at 5pm"

"See you later" I called out, not bothering to wait for his goodbye.

I rushed out the front door to work.

**Ryan's POV**

I heard the front door slam. I groaned.

"What am I doing?" I sighed

I had just kissed her. I couldn't help it, I don't know what would have happened if her phone didn't ring. My body felt on edge. Maybe if neither of us brought it up, we could each forget about it.

I got up and went to take a very cold shower.

Normal Pov

I couldn't stop thinking about it. All day long at work, my mind kept replaying it over and over again. 5pm came quickly. Part of me didn't want to go home. So instead I went at sat at a diner. I called Katrina to join me

She sat down across from me.

"What's the big emergency?"

"Ryan kissed me"

I saw her smile.

"And?"

"And what? He kissed me. It probably would have gone further if my phone hadn't rung"

"So what did you do?"

"I ran out of there and went to work"

"Ry did seem a little off when I got home"

"Why did he do it?" I asked

"I am having a hard enough time convincing my self to not love him and this happens."

"How long has this been going on?" She asked

"Ever since that night at the bar, I felt something before I was even with Jason and it came flooding back that night."

"Why did you never just act on it?"

"I don't want to risk losing him" I said

"Let's say you two did get together and things didn't work out. Do you really think that either of you would end up hating each other?"

"I don't know. If he decided he didn't want me or something. I think I would be heartbroken and it would be hard to be his friend"

"But there is always a chance it would work out. I watch the two of you. He has never been like this with anyone else. Even girls he dated, he never let them in as closely as he does with you. He tells me, Heather and Eilfie things and confides in us but I think you two hold a stronger connection." she smiled

"What do I do then? Just tell him?"

"I think you should wait a little while. Summer is coming up, we are actually done filming the show until September. He said he rented a beach house down south for the summer to relax at. Tell him there"

"How do I know if he will invite me?"

"He'll invite you. Trust me" she smiled

"Let's order. I am starving. We do have to get back though by 7pm, Ry wants to set up a camera in your room."

"Why?"

"To see if Jason is in your imagination or if you are actually see him"

"He and Serg are working on it now. A camera will be pointing towards your bed and then one towards the door…"

She continued to rattle of details of how it would be set up. After finishing eating we left and headed home.

I was not looking forward to going to bed tonight.

"She'll be fine Ryan" Serg said.

I had come home to Ryan pacing back and forth in the living room.

"Tell him she'll be fine Katrina" Serg pleaded

"Why what's going on?"

"Serg wants me to stay down here while we watch for anything to happen in the bedroom. I think that it's too risky. I think we should set up tech in my room and I can watch"

"We don't know if anything is actually happening" Katrina said

"Yeah I could be insane." I smiled

Serg laughed

"The closer I am. The faster I can get there if something happens. Last time she screamed for me. I was in my room. If I had been anywhere else in the house I might have not heard her"

"Ryan everything will be fine. We'll be watching very closely. I am sure if anything does happen you'll notice and be up there in two seconds" Katrina said

"Yeah, seriously I will be fine" I said trying to agree. All I felt was sick and scared. I wanted it to just be a normal night.

Ryan sighed, finally agreeing.

"Well let's make this just like any other night. Do what ever we would normally do and then we'll let her go up to bed when it's time." Ryan said taking charge.

"I am not hungry at all. Katrina and I just ate. Let's play poker!"

Serg laughed

"No way, I always lose about 50 dollars when I play with you"

"You have a tell. That's not my fault, don't be so easy to read" I smiled

"No let's just watch a movie. If we play poker, I know for a fact it won't end until the early morning" Katrina said.

We settled down in the living room. I sat next to Katrina on the couch while Serg and Ryan took the chairs. I was thankful for that.. If I was forced to sit next to him, I would be too tempted to touch him.

Katrina got up to go the bathroom. Ryan got up taking her spot.

He smiled at me, making my heart pound.

'Yeah' I thought 'he's trying to kill me'

Katrina came back and rolled her eyes at Ryan. She threw his blanket at him before she sat down in the chair.

She smiled though as he spread the blanket out over us and pulled me closer.

'He can't like me. He's just my best friend. Best friends hug and cuddle, they tell each other everything' I thought

'But they do not kiss' my mind added.

I felt his arm come around my shoulder. His fingers rubbing, nearly caressing my arm, I decided to fight fire with fire. If he was going to drive me insane this way, I could do the same. I put my legs under myself and cuddled up closer to him. I peeked out of the corner of my eye to see him smile slowly.

I brought my hand down on top of his thigh. I felt him jump slightly.

I smirked as I began to move my thumb in circles. His hand moved down until he reached my hip, his fingers sliding under my shirt and caressing the skin at my waist. I bit my lip to keep from giggling. He was starting to tickle me. My fingers dug lightly into his thigh. He made a strangled sound in his throat that he tried to cover up with a cough.

"Ryan" I heard Sergey say.

"Yeah"

"Stop fondling each other for a second and listen. I heard something upstairs. So I went to check the monitors I set up. Both cameras are blacked out" Serg said

How had I not noticed when Serg get up? Katrina got up and turned on the living room lights. Ryan stopped the movie.

"Katrina stay down here with Meg while Serg and I check the cameras" Ryan said

Katrina sat down next to me as they went upstairs.

"What was happening over here?"

I shook my head

"I don't know. He kept rubbing my arm. So then I started rubbing his leg and then he started rubbing my waist"

"You two were in your own world. Serg got up twice and neither of you took your eyes off the screen" she smiled

I sighed. I heard them coming down the stairs.

"The cameras are fine" Serg said

"Were you in your room any time today?" Ryan asked me

"No" I shook my head

"Well all your blankets were ripped off the bed and some picture frames on your desk were smashed" he said sitting down next to me.

"The cameras stopped recording around the same time I heard the noise" Serg said looking at the footage on the monitors

"Well let's just get to bed and figure out what to do in the morning. It's late and I think trying to continue investigating any further when we are tired is not a good idea" he said running a hand through his hair.

"Well we can't just leave meg in her room alone" Katrina said

"She won't be. I'll stay in there with her. It will be fine. If things get bad anytime tonight, we'll leave and I'll call chip in the morning." Ryan said

We all went upstairs and I got ready for bed. Ryan shut the bedroom door and looked around the room briefly. I saw some medals in his hands and a bottle of holy water. He set them on the bedside table. I saw him walk over to the window with the bottle of Holy water. He made a cross on the window with it.

I actually felt scared. He got in beside me and brought the blanket around us.

"I blessed the door with holy water also" He said

I nodded

"Scared?" he asked

I nodded.

"It'll be alright, do you know the saint Michael prayer?"

"Not by heart, only bits and pieces" I said

"I'll say it then" he began reciting the prayer. I followed along as best as I could.

I moved closer to him as he finished.

He reached over turning off the lamp, sending the room into darkness, except for the light coming from the streetlight.

I buried my face into his chest. I tried to fall asleep but all I felt was someone one watching me. Ryan looked like he was having trouble as well.

"Can't sleep either huh?" He asked

"I just feel like I am being watched" I sighed

"I know. I have felt it all day. I felt scared that something might happen to you. I got scared that you might run away again"

"I didn't run away before. I left because I thought he loved me. I wasn't running from you. I told you I was sorry I hurt you. I still am sorry I hurt you."

"I told you, it was fine"

"If it's fine, then stop thinking I am going to just run away, you are important to me"

"You just up and left. I was scared. I was…afraid you got hurt. I didn't know what to think. You could have given someone some warning. So obviously I wasn't that important"

I felt anger boiling up inside of me

"I left with out telling you because I couldn't stand it any longer. I couldn't stand knowing that you would never want me the way I wanted you to and Jason offered me that. I really grew to love him too. I thought that being with him would make it easier to forget"

He didn't say anything for a little while

"What do you mean. I would never want you the way you wanted me? Are you saying you were in love with me"

I sighed

"I still am. I've come to realize. There is no use pretending anymore or trying to ignore these feelings. If you don't feel the same way it's ok. I just am so tired of keeping these things in."

He laughed lightly

"I am going to bed now. Night" I said

"Fine but we are talking in the morning these suppression of feelings around here is probably not helping what is going on"

I didn't hear him. I was falling asleep. I felt his arms encircle me and I fell asleep.

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Please review. I really want to know if this is any good. :[


	5. Chapter 5

AN: sorry for the little wait. Thank you TheWiseWolfSpirit ,Kakashis-girl90 and SSPI for the reviews. I aim to please ;]

Enjoy

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Chapter 5

I heard my name being whispered. I felt my self wake up. I kept my eyes closed. I kept hearing my name. I opened my eyes to see that it was morning.

I relaxed slightly. I realized Ryan was the one whispering my name.

"Good you're awake" he said from behind me.

"What time is it?" I asked rolling around to face him.

"About 6am"

I groaned

"I am going out for a morning run. Will you be okay if I leave?"

"Yeah. You didn't need to wake me up to tell me though" I said closing my eyes.

"I didn't want you to be scared if you woke up and I wasn't there" he said

"Hmmm" I said trying to stay awake

He laughed lightly. I felt his lips brush across my cheek.

"Go back to sleep, I'll be back" he whispered into my ear. I felt him get up and I fell back to sleep.

I got up around 9am and Ryan was still not back. I had to work at 10am so I got ready for work, left him a note and left.

The realization that I had confessed that I was in love with him came flooding back to me during work. He didn't say anything just that we would talk later. That to me meant a big fat rejection from him. By the time I got done at 9pm I had convinced my self that he was going to reject me. So I was just preparing my self for it.

I pulled into the driveway and my phone rang. It was Leah, Jason's sister.

"Hey" I said

She sounded upset

"They found his body. He had been drunk and he drove outside of town. He must have gotten out and passed out in the ditch and never woke up. The reports are pointing to alcohol poisoning"

"Oh no…I'm so sorry" I said tears pooling in my eyes

"We are making funeral arrangements. I can call you as soon as I know when the funeral will be."

"Ok thanks" I whispered

"You ok?" she said. It sounded like she had been crying too.

"It's just a shock."

"He did love you. Despite anything hurtful he said to you. I just think he knew that ending it with you was the best, so he couldn't hurt you anymore. I think that he didn't know how much it was going to hurt him though, so he lashed out and started drinking way more then he ever did, to make it hurt less" she said crying

"I'm sorry that he couldn't get the help he needed. I am sorry that I couldn't have helped him" I said. I was starting to go into hysterics.

"I need to go. Call me as soon as you know the date" I said

She said goodbye and I hung up.

I sobbed, lowering my head to the steering wheel. I reached for the glove box and pulled out tissues wiping my face. I knew what I needed to do.

I got inside and Ryan was sitting in the kitchen

"Hey. I got your note-…what's wrong?" he said seeing my face. He got up and came over to me.

"They found Jason's body" I said biting my lip to keep from crying

"I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry. He may have been a complete asshole to you but he didn't deserve to die." he said

"Do you think we could try again tonight with the cameras? If it is him, I want to talk to him and apologize."

"Of course. Eilfie is coming over as well. I asked if she could do a cleansing ritual"

I nodded. "When do we start?"

"As soon as everyone gets here, so with in the next hour"

"What do I need to do?"

"I'll let you know everything when it's time. For now stay out of the room so I can set things up. Are you hungry? I made some Mac and cheese" he said

"Yeah. I suppose I should try and eat something"

I could feel that I was still in shock over the news.

I sat down at the table and tried to eat. Eilfie, Josh, Serg, Katrina and Heather all showed up around 10:30pm. They all ran around setting things up. I could barely process anything at this point.

I heard Ryan say my name a few times before I looked up

"We got everything set up. I'll be watching down here in the kitchen with Serg. Josh and Eilfie are down stairs at Tech. and Katrina and Heather are going to be in the hallway"

I nodded

"You'll be in your room alone. If you aren't comfortable with that let me know now"

"I'll be fine" I whispered

"You'll have a walkie and I am giving you an EVP recorder" he said

He followed me upstairs to my room. I positioned my self on my bed.

"Just imagine a white protective light surrounding you" he said. He was clutching my hand.

I nodded. He left and went downstairs. He left the door open.

"Commence dead time" Ryan said over the walkie

"Meg, just start asking questions" Ryan said over the walkie to me

"Jason if you are here. Do something to show me" I said

It was completely silent.

"Make a knocking sound. Move something. Say something" I said

I heard a faint creak which sounded like someone was walking across the floor.

"Did you hear that creak?" I said into the walkie

"Yeah we heard. Keep going"

"Can you show yourself to me? You've done it before. Just know you can't harm me in any way" I said

My chair by my desk move slightly. I felt my heart clench in fear. I breathed in. "thank you Jason" I said

"Say what you need to say" Ryan said

"Jason, I'm sorry. I am sorry things ended up this way. I am sorry that you were in so much pain" I said starting to cry.

"You shouldn't have died. And you were right. My heart wasn't completely 100% with you. I am sorry for that. I am sorry I couldn't give you more maybe if I had you would have never left me."

"If you have anything to say, you can say it now"

I waited a about 20 seconds before I said anything.

"You can't stay here Jason. You need to move on. I have been trying to move on these past few months. This is my home now and you can't stay. Please don't make this harder on me. I don't want to have to make them remove you by force. I am sorry but you should be at peace now." I said

After about 5 minuets passed. I heard Ryan on the walkie

"I think we've done all that we could do. Let's end dead time"

Serg came back up and started taking down the cameras.

Katrina collected my EVP recorder and went down stairs to tech.

Ryan came up.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Well Eilfie is going to perform the cleansing ritual, so you can go downstairs."

I nodded. I was still in a daze. Everything suddenly felt surreal.

I sat down on the couch and waited. I could tell I was crying but I couldn't make my self stop.

He was gone. He was really gone. I would never see him again. He wasn't coming back. I was trying to wrap my head around the meaning of this.

This wasn't just me mourning the loss of a relationship. Now I had to actually mourn the loss of him. I felt how I felt after he dumped me. Shocked and scared. I was back at square one. Everything I worked for since I came back was slowly crumbling.

I had to get out of the house. The voices and the walls were closing in. it was suddenly becoming too much for me. I got up, grabbed my coat and went out side.

I started walking down the block. The night air was helping me think clear.

I just wanted to be alone, I didn't want anyone ask me questions or ask me how I was feeling. I just wanted to be alone.

**Katrina's POV-**

I got up stairs after giving Josh the EVP recorders. Serg came down the camera equipment. Ryan and Eilfie were upstairs.

"Meg walked out the door" Heather said coming in from out side.

"I tried following her. I think she just needs some alone time" She added

"I should tell Ryan"

"Tell me what?" Ryan asked coming down stairs

"Meg walked out. She is just walking. She is probably a few blocks away by now. I think she needs some alone time" Heather repeated

"If she isn't back in at least an hour we need to go and get her" Ryan said

**Normal POV-**

I sat down on a park swing. The metal cold against my hands.

I wrapped my coat tighter around me, I felt slightly guilty for Jason's death. That I shouldn't even be here if I had just stopped my heart from loving Ryan.

I heard foot steps behind me. I whirled around, it was Ryan. He sat down in the swing next to me.

"You can come back now if you like" he said quietly

"Yeah. I will in a little while"

There was silence until I broke it

"I feel guilty for his death. Like if I had just given my whole heart to him he wouldn't have started being distant."

"It's not your fault. You didn't make him drink"

"I know. I still feel responsible but maybe everything happens for a reason. Not him dying but him leaving me and me coming here"

"I am just sorry I couldn't have helped him more, even more sorry about how I treated him last time I saw him. He was drunk though and was just trying to get me riled up"

"Are you going to go to the funeral?"

"Not sure yet. I'll decide when Leah calls me"

"We still need to talk about what we were talking about last night" he said

"I know"

"It's important that we talk as soon as you feel up to it"

"Listen. If you are just going to tell me you don't love me that way. Just tell me now"

He sighed

"I am afraid of what happens after I tell you, I am just scared of hurting you"

"Just tell me so I can try to forget these feelings. So I can just go back to being the best friend"

He laughed

"What is so funny?"

"You are just assuming the worst. I am not going to reject you. Meg, I have been in love with you for the last maybe 2 years" he said

I think I was going into shock because my vision got blurry and I felt dizzy.

"You okay?"

"I think I am going into shock. I've had a lot to deal with today"

"We should get back. You need to rest."

I nodded

"Can you walk?" he said getting up.

I tried standing up my knees buckled under me.

"I'll take that as a no" he said scooping me up.

"I think my body has just hit the exhaustion point."

"I know. We aren't through talking about this though"

I laughed lightly

"Oh I know. You'll pester me until we talk" I said

We got back home. Ryan laid me down in my bed and I fell asleep.

* * *

I had trouble writing this one. I didn't want it to seem too dramatic or overly cheesy. I will try to post chapter 6 probably after I finish chapter 7. I have been busy and will be a little busy with in the next few weeks so I will see how getting in writing plays out. Review please! :]


	6. Chapter 6

AN: SORRY is all I can say. things have been stressful and busy and then combine that with writers block. I would sit down at my computer trying to write. I got out a few sentences for chapter 7 hopefully I can get more down. I hope.

* * *

Chapter 6-

I woke up from my deep sleep. I looked over at my clock. It was 2pm. Shit. I had missed work.

I reached for my cell phone on the side of the bed. There were no missed calls or anything.

I rubbed my hand over my face. Everything from the last night came back.

The phone call from Leah, dead time. Walking in the cold to the park. Ryan confessing he was in love with me.

The thought of it all made my heart pound. I got out of bed. My legs were a little wobbly. I was still dressed in last night's clothes. I went to my closet and threw on some sweatpants and t-shirt. I looked into Ryan's room as I walked down stairs. He wasn't in there and Katrina and Serg's bedroom doors were closed.

I found Ryan sitting at the kitchen table with headphones on and he was taking notes from a book.

I went up next to him. He didn't look up. I tapped him lightly. He jumped, looking up

"You scared me" he laughed taking his headphones off.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked as I sat down across from him.

"Deep. Did my work call?"

"Yeah I told them you got very sick last night and wouldn't be coming in today. They weren't happy" he said

"Yeah. Where is Katrina? And Serg?"

"Taking some of their finals, I had one of my finals this morning. I think I aced it" he said

"Well good. I was afraid with everything going on you might do poorly" I said

"nah. I can handle it"

He went back to writing. I broke the silence after a few seconds

"Why did you say you were scared about what would happen after you told me? You said that you were afraid of hurting me?" I asked

"I was afraid…that I might have been too late, that maybe you changed your mind about loving me. I am always afraid I am going to hurt you. That I am going to mess up and ruin things between us. I would love to give this…..I mean us a try. If you want to" he said. I could see he was blushing.

It was kind of cute that he was nervous.

"I would like to. I just don't want to jump into this though. So let's just go with the flow and see what happens. Summer is coming up, so I think life will be less hectic. So we'll just let what ever happens happen." I said

"Ok. I like that plan" he smiled

"Katrina told you about me renting the beach house, didn't she?" he added laughing.

"Yes" I smiled

"I am thinking about inviting everyone down for a couple of weeks"

"Well I have vacation time coming up around June"

"That's actually the time I rented it for. Since we get done in at the beginning of April for classes. I figured I would visit family first before heading down to the beach house"

"Mmm. I could go for a batch of your mom's pancakes right now" I smiled

"Yeah it's been nearly, what 3 years now since you were down there?"

"Yeah. A year or so after I had been with Jason. I remember because Jason got pissed at me for wanting to go. So I left early and that was the same month he decided he wanted to move. So a month after he left he told me to decide if I wanted to move with him. I remember the day I left it was raining" I said

"Sorry I am just remember a lot of stuff, that I thought I forgot about"

"It's ok. It's good for you to talk about it instead of keeping things in all the time. I think that's both something we need to work on" He said

"No more keeping feelings in? Are you sure you will be able to handle that?"

"Are you suggesting I suppress feelings?" he smiled

"Sometimes. I've watched you get so worked up about something until it boils over and you just snap at everyone"

"I know. I hate that I let it get to that point" he sighed

"Oh! We cleaned up the EVP from last night. Did you want to listen to it?" he asked

"No. I need to just leave it all behind me. I do need to know, did he say anything significant?"

He flipped through his notebook to the first page.

"We heard and 'I'm sorry' and a 'goodbye' on there" he said

I nodded. I didn't want to know more. If I listened to it or even read what was said, I knew I would risk going back in to my numb state of being.

"I'll let you get back to studying"

"Screw studying. I have been studying for hours. Let's go do something fun"

"Like what?" I laughed

"Lunch? A movie?"

"Let me get dressed and we can figure out what to do"

He followed me to my room

"What are you doing?"

"Can I watch?" he smiled

"No you can't watch" I laughed pushing him away.

I shut the door and I could hear his laughter as he went into his own room.

I threw on some jeans, a t-shirt and a cardigan. I went to his room and he was in the middle of digging through the closet for a shirt…he was shirtless.

I had seen him shirtless a hundred and one times before, but now with everything out in the open it felt different.

I cleared my throat. "Have you seen my black button up?" he said turning around

"Actually I think, it got mixed in with my stuff when I did laundry last week" I said going to my room again. I opened the closet and dug through my clothes. I felt him come up behind me. I found the shirt and pulled it off the hanger.

"Here" I said spinning around to face him. He was directly behind me. I looked up.

He was smiling, kind of predatorily. It sent a little shiver down my back.

He took his hand and brought it down to my waist and pushed me up against the closet wall. I still had the shirt gripped in my hands. He leaned down capturing my lips in his. I sighed, dropping the shirt and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He wrapped his arm around me, pressing me closer into him. He pulled away leaving a trail of frenzied kisses on my neck. I felt his teeth bite at my shoulder. I felt my knees going wobbly.

He came back up to my mouth, his kisses growing more intense. I wanted to melt into him. My fingers trailed up along his bare back, he groaned in response. Things were moving quickly. My hands went down to his belt. He pulled away, stopping me.

"Not yet" he said breathlessly staring into my eyes. He was smiling and his brown eyes were warm and full of want.

"I think that should be special, if we do go down that road" he said

I laughed

"Always the gentlemen" I said, he leaned down kissing me again. They were softer and slower kisses. His fingers tangled into my hair.

"You are so short" he laughed pulling away.

"It's not my fault you are freakishly tall"

"We should get you a little step stool" he said picking up his shirt of the floor.

I slapped his arm playfully. He laughed slipping on the shirt and buttoning it. I reached up adjusting his collar.

"What are we going to do?" I asked

"Eat lunch. I am starving. Then we can maybe go see a movie or take Xander for a walk. Now that the weather is nicer" he said as I followed him downstairs.

Ryan had an infectious sort of personality. If he was in a good mood, it was hard not to be in a good mood also. So even though I was feeling sad and still kind of worn out, his joking was brightening my mood.

Plus I loved hearing him talk, so I let him rattle on about anything he wanted. Every so often some of his southern accent would come through making me smile.

"What are you giggling at?" he asked as he pulled into a parking space in front of the diner.

"I like it when I can hear your accent" I smiled

He rolled his eyes playfully.

We went inside the diner. I was looking forward to things finally going back to normal, in my life. At least as normal as they could ever be.

I ordered a stack of pancakes and Ryan ordered his usual coffee and breakfast platter.

"So much for lunch" I laughed

"It's like desert and lunch in one" he said drizzling syrup over his pancakes

We talked about his up coming tests and some of the stuff he had to do coming up.

A convention coming up in September and October and just a lot of stuff.

"Kind of glad I will be taking a lighter course load" he said sighing

"Kind of glad to start school again. Gives me something to do besides work" I said

"I'd love to bring you on cases but with your recent habit of passing out, probably not a good idea" he said smirking.

"Hey! It's not like I have a condition now. I am not always going to pass out"

"Maybe you should take the PRS class; it's actually really hard work"

"So I've heard" I said reaching for my orange juice

"Who's said what?" he sighed

"That you assign too much homework. That you are very no nonsense and strict"

"Oh. Well than it's all true" he laughed

"I like a man who takes charge"

He coughed choking on his coffee.

"Oh?" he said after clearing his throat.

I laughed until I felt his foot run up the inside of my leg.

I felt my skin blush.

"Tease" I smiled

He smirked.

* * *

Sorry for it being so short. Hopefully chapter 7 will be longer. REVIEW! :D


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I stood out on the dock, watching the water move, transfixed. I was glad to get away from life for a while. The lake house Ryan rented out was awesome; we had only arrived 2 days before. We had visited with his parents a little while before driving down. His parents had been so happy to see me again. I had missed how friendly and welcoming they were with me. They were almost like parents to me.

I continued to watch the water when I felt arms come up around my waist. I jumped, turning around.

"Hey, I wondered where you got to" Ryan smiled

"Just enjoying the view"

"Get your shoes on, we are heading into town to get some dinner" he said taking my hand. It was late August we decided to make the trip before school started up in a few weeks. So leaves were starting to change.

I followed him back towards the house and we all left.

"You've been quiet all evening, what's up?" Katrina asked me at the restaurant.

"Nothing, just enjoying the vacation" I smiled. I had realized I had been pretty quiet since we got here. I had something going on in my head I couldn't place.

I went and sat back on the deck when we got back, with a book.

My toes skimming the water as I leaned against the railings. It was still warm enough where the cool water felt good on my feet. I heard the snap of twigs in the nearby bushes. I looked up and Ryan was walking towards me.

"Hey there miss anti-social" he said sitting down next to me.

"I am not anti-social, I am just reading" I said setting the book down beside me.

"No, I can tell it's something more than that going on" he said reaching for my hand.

I sighed

"I have been having nightmares, since we got here. In the dreams I am on a boat, with my parents and the next thing I know I am being grabbed by hands but they aren't human. They have claws and they are dragging me down beneath the water and then I wake up"

"I know it's a tough subject. Didn't your parents drown?"

"Yeah, a boating accident when I was 14. My brother drowned too. I don't remember anything except that the police told me my parents were trapped in the ropes of the boat after we hit a large rock. They couldn't escape and my brother was only 8 so he couldn't swim too well" I said trying not to cry.

He rubbed my back.

"Sorry. I know you don't like talking about it."

"It's ok my aunt was great. I wish she could have stuck around longer. She at least saw me get into college though" I smiled.

"So that's the only thing bothering you?" he asked

"Basically and the feeling that something is watching me and I know it's stupid but I just can't shake it."

"It's not stupid."

"Well it's your job to believe me" I laughed

He rolled his eyes.

"I am going to read some more" I said. He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Don't be too long, we are going to go have a bonfire across the lake, if it doesn't rain." He said getting up.

My thoughts strayed as I read the book. Over the summer, Ryan and I had been doing this awkward dance of emotions. We hadn't declared that we were dating and apart from making out occasionally that was as far as things had gone. I think we were both hoping this weekend would kind of move things along for us.

I heard more twigs cracking near the tree line this time. I got up and slipped my shoes back on. I felt a shiver run down my neck as a breeze picked up. I walked quickly back towards the house.

* * *

Sorry it is short! I have had difficulty writing in general lately. Life is still pretty stressful right now. I am currently working on chapter 8. I have a lot of ideas for this story so it's just getting them to work well. And! i know i said in a previous chapter they had booked the lake house for June..(i may have called it a beach house even) I tend to write better when I can actually feel the season. so late august worked better for me right now, since it's fall here and chilly..it helps me visual and get into the story. so yes! review...and I will try and get some more chapters up as soon as I can.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Ryan was at the wheel as the boat glided across the water. The weather had turned out perfect for the bonfire, just the right amount of chill to the air.

I laughed as I watched Sergey shove marshmallows into his mouth.

"Save some for the rest of us!" Katrina yelled pulling the bag away from him.

Me, Katrina, Sergey, Ryan, Heather, Josh and Elfie all piled off the boat on to the dock.

I grabbed the cooler and the blankets. I smiled watching Ryan tie up the boat. His sunglasses perched on his head. His arms flexing under his t-shirt as he moved about the boat. I bit my lip and followed the rest of the crew.

I opened the cooler and dug around for a beer.

"We should play a game!" Heather said

"Please don't say truth or dare" Sergey groaned holding his stomach. He looked queasy.

"You are the one who ate too many marshmallows." Katrina laughed

"Let's play flash light tag" Josh suggested.

It had gotten quite dark as we sat around the fire.

"Alright but some rules…no climbing up trees. Heather" Ryan said looking over at her.

"That was one time!" she said

We equipped ourselves with flashlights and flashlight tag had turned more into hide and go seek. I was searching for everyone. In the dark, in the woods with my dinky little flashlight.

I squinted into the dark waving my flashlight towards bushes and trees and rocks. I sighed.

"I am probably lost" I said to myself. I started heading back to the fire. I heard footsteps behind me; I spun around quick enough to see a shadow.

"I saw you! Come on" I laughed. Waiting for someone to reveal themselves.

I continued to search.

Ryan's POV-

"Heather it's been awhile." I said pressed up against a tree.

"Yeah it is dark though…"

"I am worried. She might be lost"

"Alright let's go find the others and find her. You can blame Josh for this one" She said as we looked for the others.

Josh and Sergey split off in one direction to look for her. Heather and Elfie in the other and me and Katrina.

Meg's POV-

"Alright, I quit." I said turning around and heading off in the other direction.

I thought I must be getting closer to the fire. But I didn't see anything.

I was trying not to panic. I was in the woods. Alone and possibly lost.

"Guys!" I yelled.

"Hey! I am done playing. Come out please!" I yelled.

Silence only followed. I reached into my pocket and took out my cell phone. No signal.

"Of course" I said closing it.

"RYAN! HEATHER…ANYONE!" I yelled

I heard something behind me. I turned around to catch a glimpse of fur, red eyes and claws before it disappeared where I couldn't see it. I screamed tripping over myself as I ran as fast as I could through the trees. I saw lights. Several flashlights in the distance.

"Meg!" someone yelled. It sounded like Katrina.

I ran until I reached the lights.

"Where were you?" Ryan said reaching me first. His face was white and he looked terrified.

"I was looking for you. I got lost and...I saw something" I said hugging him.

"You are shaking" he said taking off his coat and wrapping it around me.

We all headed back to the fire. We decided to camp out for the evening.

The few tents we brought along were set up quickly.

I snuggled into Ryan.

"What did it look like?" he whispered as we were sharing a tent with Heather and Elfie.

"Fur, claws and red eyes. It might have been a bear but it was dark and I was alone and afraid." I sighed

"It was probably just a bear" he said running a hand into my hair.

"I am sorry you were scared" he added pressing a kiss to my head.

I looked up into his face.

"It didn't help that I felt watched while I was out there"

"Still?"

"Yeah I don't know what it is"

His brows furrowed.

"I wouldn't worry about it" he said

I nodded. He leaned down and kissed me. His lips warm on mine.

I pressed into him and deepened the kiss.

He pulled away.

"Now is not a good time for this" he chuckled quietly.

"I know." I said. We fell asleep. Tomorrow would be a new day.

We packed up and headed back in the morning.

"I call shower!" I yelled when we got into the house.

I grinned shutting the door in Sergey's face.

It felt good to be clean. I got dressed and went to look for Ryan. Who was in the front yard messing with a bike.

"Hey, what are you up to?"

"I am going to go on a bike ride, want to join me?" he smiled.

"Sure" I said.

I got the other bike ready and we were off down the road.

We came to a stop at park. We parked out bikes.

"What are we doing?" I smiled. "You'll see" He said taking my hand and leading me.

He was leading me up a steep hill.

"If I had known you were going to take me hiking I would have worn better shoes"

"Not much farther." He said

We reached the top of the hill into a clearing overlooking the lake.

"I thought it would be nice to finally spend some time alone together..."

"Summer was kind of busy for both of us" he added sitting down on a rock.

I nodded.

"Think the others followed us?" I laughed

"I sure hope not" he said grabbing my hand and pulling me down next to him.

"Did you want to talk anymore about what you've been feeling since you got here?"

"It's probably just my imagination running wild."

"I just feel it all the time though, it never stops. Even now I can feel something is watching me from somewhere in the woods" I added

"Are you having nightmares every night?"

"Mostly the same one over and over again."

"Well that was a traumatizing life experience for you. Where did you live again before it happened?"

"North Carolina. I don't remember where it happened though; it's been kind of erased from my mind."

"You never went under any kind of hypnosis to remember anything?"

"Why would I want to? My parents and little brother died. That is something I rather not remember every detail of"

He nodded squeezing my hand.

"It's strange though that you are dreaming of the accident"

"I thought maybe it's because I am so close to a lake again."

"Let me know if it gets any worse" he said

I nodded.

We stay cuddled on the rock watching the sun go down. The mood for our romantic escape was kind of ruined.

He leaned over and kissed my lips slowly. He pulled away and brushed the hair out of my eyes.

"I am sorry for bringing it up. I just want you enjoy this time and not be plagued by bad dreams"

"It's alright. I know you are only trying to help"

"Let's get going. I know Sergey promised to make dinner tonight" He smiled.

We got up and headed back to the house.

Sets of eyes followed my every movement back. Watching and biding their time.

* * *

So it may be a while til chapter 9(a week or 2 :/). I am still coming up with more ideas for this. Music is a major help but it's hard finding songs that flow with the story. I will eventually put up the playlist i used. hope you liked this. I tried to make it longer this time around. Review! -M


	9. Chapter 9

I have been buuusy. Personal stuff, work, getting sick. Life is never fun. I will try and update as soon as I can. Promise. Hopefully at least some of you enjoy this :)

* * *

Chapter 9

**Ryan's POV-**

I felt the bed shake as I woke up violently. I wiped my face which was covered in sweat. I looked over and meg was still deeply asleep.

The dream had been gruesome. I was at the end of the dock screaming Meg's name. Than the dream switched to me covered in blood and cradling her lifeless body. I shivered thinking of it again. I threw the blankets off of me and went into the living room. I went and got a glass of water, careful to not wake the others up as I took a glass from the cupboard. I heard the wood floor creak behind me.

I turned around. Meg was standing there with just my t-shirt on, draping over her slender frame.

"Did I wake you?" I said

"No, bad dream" she said coming over and grabbing another cup.

"Yeah kind of why I woke up too" I sighed. I poured her a glass of water. She followed me outside to the dock. The moon lit up the whole lake.

We drank in silence. I put my arm around her and pulled her into me.

I set my cup down on the railing and pulled her to face me. I leaned down and pressed my lips onto hers.

**Meg's POV.**

Ryan had been acting jumpy as he poured me the glass of water. I followed him out side

Standing out on the deck close to him was comforting. Before I knew it he was kissing me softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I wanted to be close to him. I wanted to feel him go out of control.

"let's go sit on the boat" I said against his mouth.

He nodded pulling me along behind him. He helped me onto the boat. We sat down in the back. He pulled a blanket from beneath the seat and wrapped it around us.

He resumed kissing me. His teeth biting at my bottom lip. My hands traveled under his shirt. Trying to tug it up and off. He pulled away

"are you sure?" he whispered cupping my face. I nodded slowly.

Soon more clothes were coming off. He covered us in the blanket. Everything was a blur of kisses, whispers, quiet moans and limbs.

I was thankful the area was so secluded because I wouldn't have wanted it to happen any other way.

"that was…" I sighed and then laughed quietly

"bad?" he smirked

"amazing"

"next time a bed might be more comfortable" I added

"agreed…let's go back to bed" ryan took my hand again and we crept quietly back into the house.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

I lay on the deck, soaking up the rays. Ryan sat on the boat chatting with Sergey.

I felt the deck creak. "We are going to run into town, want to join us?"

"nah, I'm good here" I said. I felt Ryan kneel down next to me.

"You going to be ok?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, going to head in soon with a book and some tea."

"Call me if anything happens"

"What could possibly happen?" I laughed

"I know…" he smiled shaking his head.

He leaned down and kissed me softly.

"Go…pick me up some honey too" I said as he stood up.

"Will do!" he smiled. With that him and Sergey left. The girls had left earlier in the day and Josh was with Serg and Ryan. I was alone.

I didn't mind, because the nightmares were stopping.

I sighed getting up off the deck and going back inside. I pulled a t-shirt over my head. My heart leapt when I saw a pair of eyes watching me in the trees. Red, angry eyes.

I felt my hands shake as I searched my bed for the phone. Never taking my eyes off of whatever it was.

I hit redial on my phone. I heard it ring before Ryan picked up

"What's up…?"

"Ryan there is something outside watching me from the tree" I said tears pooling in my eyes.

"We will be right there. Do not go outside. Lock yourself in the bathroom" He said

"I will stay on the phone with you…"

I went out of the room and into the hallway. I heard nails scraping on the glass window. Before I heard the window being lifted. I shut the bathroom door. Not before whatever it was stuck it's claws between the crack. I screamed dropping the phone. I began muttering different prayers in Latin, as I put my full weight against the door. The claws moved out of the door. I heard a low deep growl. And a voice that said

"Words won't save you next time"

I slammed and locked the door.

"Meg!" Ryan said frantically into the phone

"It came after me…please get here" I said starting to sob. I hung up the phone and a few minutes later I heard the tires on the gravel outside.

I heard the front door bang open. I opened the bathroom door and Ryan stood in the hallway staring at what the creature had left. Burn marks as well as scrapes from claws down the length of the hallway.

Ryan closed the gap and gathered me into his arms, as I sobbed.

* * *

AN: I apologize for the shortness of the update as well as the lack of updates. I have had a lot of personal issues to deal with. Relationship problems, depression, financial and family problems. That about sums it up.

I will try to be better about updating :)


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